This week we highlight Ray and Ray alone. Her story warrants having more space to share. Ray, your BL family has all been rooting for you every step along the way in this crazy journey of yours. We applaud your strength and perseverance and are so happy to have you back at BL once again. Changing things up a bit this week as I allow Ray to tell her story herself…
Hi everyone, it’s Ray! My yoga practice first began at BL when I was fresh out of college in 2012. I immediately fell in love with the practice, vibing in Jamie’s 5@5 Slow Flows on Sundays. It did not take long for me to decide to get YTT certified and start teaching. In 2015, I started teaching at BL, working as a Desk Manager and also behind the scenes as their Graphic Designer. Some of my favorite projects that you might recognize are the outdoor windows by the road and the wood slat designs when you walk in. Specifically, the butterfly wall, which then the very talented Dave von Behren executed! I also do all the Body Language designs that are printed on the clothes that Claudia picks out for our retail area!
While wearing my many hats at BL, I got married and had three kiddos between 2018 and 2022, which brought an end to my desk shifts (sorry Desk Managers). I still continued doing graphics and I found myself teaching less Vinyasa and more Better Backs since becoming a mom. Meditation has become my main practice these days and not necessarily by choice, but because I had to really slow down and honor what my body can handle. Yoga has been more difficult to get back into than I had hoped. And this is where I get into the last year of what has been going on in my life. Last August, I randomly had a seizure. I was five weeks postpartum and by the grace of God I wasn’t home alone with my kids or driving like I would have been most days. It was my first time away from all three kids since Rocky had been born. I was with a group of my best girlfriends, several in the medical field. I could not have been in better hands when this event took place. I was taken to the hospital for scans where my husband and mom met me and it was there that they found a brain tumor. Three weeks later I had brain surgery at the University of Michigan with the best team of doctors. They got 99% of my tumor, but since it was confirmed a grade II meningioma I would need 33 rounds of radiation. Recovery from brain surgery went exactly as they had told me it would. I even started working out without many compilations. I completed Proton Radiation Therapy on January 16th and I was so excited to be done. But after radiation it felt like I took several steps backwards and it has been a long road of recovery. My first follow up didn’t show a clear scan. My second follow up confirmed brain injury from the Proton Therapy. No signs of the tumor, so that was a relief! But it did make sense for the more challenging recovery.
There are many annoying things with brain trauma, weird nerve sensations, headaches, migraines, the chunks of my hair I lost and the awkward regrowth, light and sound sensitiviy, the biggest one- MEMORY. All these things were so overwhelming at first but slowly I have seemed to become more accustomed to them while some things are also improving. Lately I am beginning to feel like I am finally over the hump. <3 Patience, time, and peace are important for allowing the body and mind to heal, but it can feel impossible when you are in the thick of it. I remember at times feeling like I was trying to stay afloat, trying not to sink, but not only did it feel like I couldn’t swim, it felt like there was an anchor tied to my ankles pulling me down and I was drowning. In those moments I didn’t know what else to do except meditate. The three weeks between my seizure and my surgery I did over 50 guided meditations and the word ANCHOR kept jumping out at me, but with a much more positive outlook. What are the anchors in your life that keep you grounded, make you feel safe and secure? What is your anchor today? My anchors are my breath, meditation, my yoga practice, my kids, my family and friends. Recently I took Carrie P’s class because I was having an off day and by the end of class I felt lighter, happier and more grounded. Body Language is another one of my anchors, like it is for many of us. We walk in and we unroll our mats, we feel the energy in the room and we start to let go, our hands on our hearts, a deep cleansing breath, and we come home to ourselves. Recently, I also taught my first class in over a year and wow, it felt amazing. Another feeling of coming home to myself. I didn’t realize how much I missed teaching and how much I needed that little piece of myself back. It felt so good to give hugs to everyone in class, to be back with the BL community, this community that has rallied behind me through the good times and bad. From celebrating at my wedding and baby, after baby, after baby, my surgery, and all my treatments. I really cannot express the gratitude I have to be here. I am so grateful for all the ANCHORS in my life, for all of you. Thank you Andrea for this beautiful community. “Life’s roughest storms prove the strength of our anchors” -unknown
